Essential but Easy Self-care for toxic relationship Recovery

We’ve all been there. You’re in a new relationship, and it feels like the world has finally fallen into place. You both have an unspoken connection; spending time together feels effortless, and you can’t get enough of each other. Everything is perfect until it isn’t.

Conflict arises, trust is broken, and your partner does something that cuts you to the core. They break your trust or endanger your safety in some way—maybe they even show signs of being controlling or emotionally manipulative.

How do you deal with the emotional trauma and move forward after the relationship ends?

In the work environment, your new job may initially seem perfect until you realize that the environment is too stressful and toxic and you need to find a new job.

Self-care is a crucial element of any toxic relationship recovery process.

Toxic relationships leave us broken and confused, and sometimes we don’t realize this until it’s too late.

The recovery process requires you to be gentle with yourself. You will need to participate in self-care activities, set healthy boundaries, and surround yourself with positive people, which will allow you to heal and rebuild your life.

Understanding Toxic Relationships

Toxic relationships are those that negatively impact your mental and emotional well-being. These relationships can be with friends, family members, or romantic partners.

Being in an abusive relationship is draining and disorientating, and it can be difficult to identify when you’re in one.

Here are some signs of an abusive relationship:

• Your partner or friend is constantly criticizing you or putting you down.
• They don’t respect your boundaries or make you feel guilty for setting them.
• You feel like you’re walking on eggshells around them.
• They’re controlling or manipulative.
• They’re emotionally or physically abusive.

If you’re in an abusive relationship, it’s important to recognize that it’s not your fault.

You’re not responsible for someone else’s toxic behavior. Understand that leaving an abusive relationship is difficult, but it’s often a necessary step for your well-being.

Some abusive behavior patterns to look out for include gaslighting, where someone makes you question your reality or memory, and stonewalling, where someone shuts down communication or refuses to talk about issues.

These patterns can be damaging to your mental health and should not be ignored.

If you’re in an abusive relationship, seek help and support. There are resources available, such as hotlines and counseling services, that can help you safely leave the abusive relationship and heal from the emotional trauma.

You deserve to be in healthy and supportive relationships. Don’t settle for less.

Steps to Leaving a Toxic Relationship

Leaving an abusive relationship is a challenging and emotional process, but it is a necessary step towards taking care of yourself.

Here are some essential steps to help you leave an abusive relationship and move towards a healthier and happier life.

1. Recognize the Signs

The first step to leaving an abusive relationship is to recognize the signs. These signs may include emotional abuse, physical violence, manipulation, control, and gaslighting. If you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells or that your partner is always putting you down, it may be time to reconsider the relationship.

2. Seek Support

Leaving an abusive relationship can be a lonely and isolating experience, so it’s important to seek support.

Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist who can provide emotional support and guidance. You may also want to consider joining a support group for survivors of domestic abuse.

3. Make a Plan

Leaving a toxic relationship can be dangerous, so it’s important to make a plan.

This may include finding a safe place to stay, packing a bag with essential items, and contacting a lawyer or domestic violence hotline for legal advice.

Make sure to keep important documents, such as your passport and birth certificate, in a safe place.

4. Cut Off Contact

Cutting off contact with your toxic partner is a necessary step towards healing and moving on.

This may include blocking their phone number, email, and social media accounts. If you have children with your partner, consider using a third-party mediator to communicate and formulate a co-parenting plan.

5. Focus on Self-Care

Leaving a toxic relationship requires courage and resilience, so it’s important to focus on self-care.

This may include practicing mindfulness, getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and exercising regularly. You may also want to consider therapy or counseling to help you heal from the emotional trauma of the relationship.

What is self-care?

Self-care is all about looking after your emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being.

Self-care isn’t just about brushing your teeth or combing your hair. Self-care focuses on the needs within you.

Self-care is caring for your soul, your inner self, and your very being.

You might think it’s selfish to care for yourself, but self-care is actually crucial to your survival.

If you neglect your needs, you’re likely to burn out, become sick, and suffer from mental health issues like stress, anxiety, and depression.

When you practice self-care, you’ll find that you have more energy and are more productive.

Self-care isn’t about ignoring your problems; it’s about finding ways to solve them without getting stuck in a loop of destructive thought patterns.

It’s not just about taking baths and sleeping in on the weekends, either. It’s about creating a healthy lifestyle that works for you.

Why Is Self-Care So Important?

Unfortunately, breakups can happen in every relationship — whether it lasts two months or 20 years.

If your breakup has left you feeling confused, upset, or even traumatized, self-care is even more important than it would normally be.

Self-care is an essential aspect of maintaining your overall well-being. It involves taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. By engaging in self-care activities, you can improve your mood, reduce stress, and boost your energy levels.

Taking care of your own needs is not selfish; it is necessary for your own well-being. It is important to prioritize yourself and your needs, so you can be the best version of yourself for those around you.

Neglecting your own well-being can lead to burnout, exhaustion, and even physical and mental health problems.

Positive self-talk is another important aspect of self-care and boosting your self-esteem. It involves being kind and compassionate to yourself and avoiding negative self-talk or self-criticism.

Incorporating self-care activities into your daily routine can have a significantly positive impact on your life.

Some examples of self-care activities include exercise, meditation, spending time in nature, reading, and spending time with loved ones. Find activities that work for you and that you enjoy.

When you’re healing from a breakup, especially from a toxic relationship, it’s easy to get stuck in a negative spiral of thoughts.

You might be plagued by the question: “What did I do wrong?” or “Why did they leave me?” You can try to solve these problems, but you’ll never find a concrete solution or closure from a toxic relationship, and it’s more productive if you start putting yourself first.

In your fragile state, self-care will assist and support you in the process of rebuilding yourself, and your life.

Self-care allows you to start solving your problems and being able to move forward, even if you don’t have all the answers.

Self-care will help you to focus on being positive even when everything around you seems dark and difficult.

the Impact of self-care on Mental and Physical Health

Taking care of yourself is crucial for both your mental and physical health.

Neglecting your own needs can lead to a variety of negative consequences, including emotional pain, physical violence, and emotional abuse.

Recognizing the impact of self-care on your overall well-being is the first step in taking control of your life and improving your health.

When you prioritize self-care, you are actively working to reduce negative thoughts and feelings.

You are also taking steps to prevent physical and emotional harm from occurring.

By recognizing the impact of self-care on mental and physical health, you can take steps to reduce stress and improve your overall quality of life.

When you neglect self-care, you may experience a range of negative consequences. Physical health problems such as headaches, fatigue, and chronic pain may arise.

Mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, and stress may also occur. Emotional pain can lead to a range of negative behaviors, including self-harm and substance abuse.

By taking care of yourself, you can prevent negative consequences and improve your quality of life. Prioritize your own needs and take the time to care for yourself every day.

Steps for Toxic Relationship Recovery

When you’re in the thick of a breakup from a toxic relationship, it’s easy to forget to take care of yourself.

You’re likely to be so focused on the relationship ending or the person who hurt you, that you forget to look after your own needs.

When you are hurting and recovering from a toxic relationship it can be challenging to do things like eat properly, sleep well, and deal with your emotions in a healthy way. When you neglect your needs, you’re more likely to get sick or engage in self-destructive behaviors.

That’s why you should make self-care activities a priority.

If you’re in the middle of a breakup and notice you’re not taking care of yourself, stop what you’re doing and take a step back. Ask yourself if you’re neglecting yourself and what you can do to change that.

Self-care can help by providing you with a healthy outlet for your emotions and a reminder to look after your needs.

Start taking small steps to care for yourself. The first step is always to be aware of how you’re feeling and why.

Next, make a plan for how you’re going to take care of yourself. There are many ways to practice self-care, so find what works best for you.

1. Build a Solid Self-Care Plan

A good self-care plan reminds you of what you want to accomplish. After all, you have values, goals, and a purpose in your life. This plan reminds you about what you need to do to take care of yourself.

Using a day planner or making notes to yourself can remind you of your goals and the things you need to do to take care of your body, mind, and soul.

Your self-care plan gives you a solid foundation for what you want to do and how you can accomplish it.

Whatever you do to care for yourself, make sure it helps you relax and de-stress.

2. De-stressing activities

Meditation, journaling, listening to music, coloring, and spending time in nature are all great ways to de-stress. This will lead to you rediscovering yourself, something that is most needed after a toxic relationship.

Sign up for the Self-Care Challenge. It’s absolutely free and can be done at your convenience. Self-care will change your life and mindset.

3. Healthy outlets for emotions

You can also try to find healthy outlets for your emotions, like going to therapy, exercising, or spending time with loved ones who support you to embrace who you are.

By embracing who you are you will be able to boost your self-esteem and confidence.

4. Your physical health

Make sure you’re eating well, getting enough sleep, and taking care of your physical health.

Your mental health is closely linked to your physical health. If you notice you’re getting stuck with negative thought processes, try to refocus your attention on taking care of yourself physically.

Personally, I find that making sure that I get enough sleep is something that I underestimated.

5. Personal well-being

Providing yourself with inspirational quotes and affirmations is the spiritual food that keeps you focused on your own personal well-being.

These provide you with reminders of what to do, as well as little pieces of inspiration to remind you of why you’re doing it!

Affirmations have the power to change your thoughts, self-talk, and ultimately, your actions.

They can strengthen your talents and help you develop traits that you wish to learn. They can enable you to overpower negative thoughts with positive ones.

Hang motivating pictures throughout your home and office. These pictures may be of exotic places you’d like to visit someday or tranquil images of nature.

You can also have a photo of your family to remind you of what’s important to you.

Your self-care plan should inspire you and remind you of why you want to take care of your body mind and spirit.

6. Seeking Professional Help

Sometimes, self-care can only take you so far. When you’re facing complex or overwhelming issues, seeking professional help can be the best thing you can do for yourself.

Here are some options you can consider:

• Therapy: A therapist can help you work through mental health issues, emotional challenges, and relationship problems. You can find a therapist in your area by searching on Psychology Today’s therapist directory. You can also ask for recommendations from friends, family, or your primary care physician.
• Legal advice: If you’re dealing with legal issues related to family law, such as divorce, child custody, or domestic violence, you may need to consult with a family law attorney. They can help you understand your rights and options, and represent you in court if necessary.
• Domestic violence support: If you’re experiencing domestic violence, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline for help. They can provide you with emotional support, safety planning, and referrals to local resources.

Seeking professional help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It takes courage to ask for help when you need it, and it can be a crucial step in your self-care journey.

7. Building a Support Network

Self-care is not just about taking care of your physical and mental health. It’s also about surrounding yourself with positive people who support and uplift you.

Building a support network is an essential part of self-care that can help you manage stress, overcome challenges, and improve your life.

7.1 Healthy Relationships

Healthy relationships are the foundation of a strong support network. These relationships are built on trust, respect, and mutual understanding.

When you surround yourself with positive people who care about you and your well-being, you’ll feel more comfortable reaching out to them when you need help.

7.2 Family Members

Your family members can be a great source of support in your life. They know you better than anyone else and can provide a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, or a helping hand when you need it most.

However, it’s important to remember that not all family relationships are healthy. If you have toxic family members, it’s okay to set boundaries or distance yourself from them as this is part of your self-care.

7.3 Support Groups

Support groups are a great way to connect with others who are going through similar experiences.

Whether you’re dealing with a chronic illness, addiction, mental health issues, or toxic relationship recovery there’s likely a support group out there that can help you. These groups provide a safe space to share your struggles, receive support, and learn coping strategies that will help you improve your life.

7.4 Close Friends

Your close friends are the people who know you the best and love you for who you are. They can provide emotional support, practical advice, and a much-needed distraction from life’s challenges. Friends can also provide you with a different perspective on how to handle difficult situations that you may be going through.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to reach out to your friends for help.

7.4 Social Support

Social support refers to the help and assistance that you receive from your social network.

This can include everything from emotional support to practical help with daily tasks. When you have a strong social support network, you’ll feel more resilient and better able to handle life’s ups and downs.

Building a support network takes time and effort, but it’s worth it.

By surrounding yourself with people who care about you, you’ll be better equipped to handle life’s challenges.

8. Setting Healthy Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is an important part of self-care. Boundaries are the limits you set for yourself and others in your life, and they help you create a sense of control.

When you have clear boundaries, you are better able to communicate your needs and desires, and you are more likely to feel respected and valued by others.

If you have been in a toxic relationship you are probably unfamiliar with setting boundaries and may need to start at identifying what your boundaries are. Write down a list that includes behaviors that you would like to ensure are part of your life and also those behaviors you will not tolerate.

Be clear about what you are and are not willing to do. This might mean saying no to requests that don’t align with your values or priorities, or it might mean setting limits on how much time and energy you are willing to give to certain people or activities.

Another important aspect of setting healthy boundaries is communicating them clearly to others.

This might mean having difficult conversations with friends, family members, or coworkers about what you need and expect from them. It might also mean being assertive when someone tries to cross a boundary you have set.

Setting healthy boundaries is not about being selfish or unkind. It is about taking care of yourself and creating a sense of control in your life.

By setting healthy boundaries, you can create healthier relationships with others and feel more confident and empowered in your own life.

9. Track your progress

Another aspect of your self-care plan is tracking your progress.

Let’s say you have a hard time getting motivated to exercise. By keeping a log of your exercise time, you can keep yourself focused on achieving fitness and a healthier you.

A food journal is also a good way to track your food choices so you can remind yourself that you need to eat nutritious foods. In addition, you can use a journal to record your mental and emotional health.

Journal what’s going on inside of you so you can evaluate your feelings and proactively take care of your mental health.

Your self-care plan tracks your progress and helps you stay on track moving forward toward your goals.

You can use these aspects of planning toward anything in your life so you have that solid foundation you need to take care of yourself. Just make sure to take care of the inside as well as the outside.

Sign up for the Self-Care Challenge. It’s absolutely FREE and can be done at your convenience. Self-care will change your life and mindset.

10. Getting Down to Creating a Personalized Self-Care Plan

You may need to motivate yourself to initiate your self-care plan. For some, beginning any new task may be daunting. In addition, you’ll want to be sure you can find motivation along the way to help keep you on track.

A good motivator to keep you on track is to have a family member, friend, or spouse hold you accountable.

If you slip up in your efforts to proactively take care of yourself, they will let you know so you can renew your focus and get back on track.

Have some sort of structure in place for successful self-care. You need to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else.

A good self-care plan will provide you with the vigor, attitude, and energy to enjoy life to its fullest!

Moving on from Past Relationships

Moving on from past relationships is an important aspect of self-care.

Whether you are trying to move on from a toxic relationship, a previous relationship that didn’t work out, or just trying to make space for future relationships, it can be tough to let go of the past.

Here are a few tips to help you move on:

1. Allow Yourself to Feel Your Emotions

Allow yourself to feel your emotions and process them in a healthy way. Whether you’re feeling angry, sad, or hurt, it’s important to acknowledge those feelings and give yourself permission to feel them.

This can help you to move on and let go of the past.

2. Focus on Self-Reflection

Take some time to reflect on your past relationship and what you learned from it. This can help you to identify patterns and behaviors that you want to avoid in future relationships.

It can also help you to identify what you want and need in a future partner.

3. Cut Off Contact with Your Ex

If possible, it’s best to cut off contact with your ex. This can help you to move on and avoid getting caught up in old patterns and behaviors.

If you can’t cut off contact completely, try to limit your interactions and avoid discussing your past relationship.

4. Take Care of Yourself

Self-care is important when you’re moving on from a past relationship. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally.

This can include things like getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, and practicing self-care activities like meditation or yoga.

5. Be Open to New Relationships

Finally, it’s important to be open to new relationships. This doesn’t mean you have to jump into a new relationship right away, but it’s important to be open to the possibility of a new relationship in the future.

This can help you to move on and let go of the past.

Moving on from past relationships can be tough, but with these tips, you can start to let go of the past and make space for a happier, healthier future.

Dealing with Emotional Trauma

Dealing with emotional trauma is never easy, but it is possible to heal and move forward. Your healing journey may take time, but it is important to be patient and kind to yourself during the process.

One way of finding closure that can be helpful in dealing with emotional trauma is writing an unsent letter.

This can be a powerful tool to express your feelings and emotions in a safe and private way.

Write down everything you want to say, without worrying about how it sounds or how it will be received. This can help you process your emotions and move towards healing.

It is also important to seek professional help if you are struggling with emotional trauma. A therapist or counselor can provide support and guidance as you navigate your healing journey. They can help you develop coping strategies and provide a safe space to process your emotions.

In addition to seeking professional help, there are also self-care practices that can aid in healing from emotional trauma. This can include things like:

• Practicing mindfulness and meditation
• Engaging in physical activity or exercise
• Spending time in nature
• Connecting with supportive friends and family
• Engaging in creative activities, such as art or music

Healing from emotional trauma is a process. It is important to be patient as you navigate your healing journey. With time and support, it is possible to move towards a place of healing and growth.

Creating a Safe and Supportive Environment

Self-care is not just about taking care of yourself physically and mentally, but also creating a safe and supportive environment around you.

This can be achieved by making small changes to your daily routine and surroundings.

Here are a few ways to create a safe and supportive environment:

• Create a Safe Space: It is important to have a safe space where you can relax and be yourself. This can be a corner in your room, a park, or any place where you feel comfortable. Make sure this space is free from any distractions and is a place where you can unwind.
• Surround Yourself with Positive People: Surrounding yourself with positive people can have a big impact on your mental health. Make sure you have people in your life who support and encourage you. This can be friends, family, or even social media accounts that promote positivity and self-care.
• Declutter Your Space: A cluttered space can lead to a cluttered mind. Take some time to declutter your space and get rid of any unnecessary items. This can help you feel more organized and in control.
• Set Boundaries: Setting boundaries is important for creating a safe and supportive environment. This can include saying no to things that don’t align with your values or taking a break from social media when it becomes overwhelming.

By creating a safe and supportive environment, you can improve your overall well-being and make self-care a priority in your life. Small changes can often have a big impact.

Positive Relationships

Positive relationships are essential for your overall well-being and self-care. Cultivating and nurturing healthy relationships can help reduce stress, increase happiness, and provide support during challenging times.

Here are some ways to foster positive relationships in your life:

1. Surround Yourself with Positive People

Surrounding yourself with positive people can help improve your mood, increase your self-esteem, and provide a supportive network.

Seek out positive people who uplift and inspire you, and who share similar values and interests. Spending time with positive people can help you maintain a positive outlook on life and this will improve your mental health.

2. Meet New People

Meeting new people can be an enriching experience, and can help you expand your social circle and broaden your perspectives.

Attend events and activities that align with your interests, and be open to meeting new people. Building new relationships can help you learn new things about yourself and the world around you.

3. Nurture Good Relationships

Nurturing good relationships takes time and effort, but it can be incredibly rewarding.

Show your loved ones that you care about them by spending quality time together, expressing gratitude, and offering support when they need it.

Good relationships can help you feel connected and valued and can provide a sense of belonging.

4. Cultivate Loving Relationships

Loving relationships can be incredibly fulfilling and can help you feel supported and cared for. Whether it’s a romantic partner, family member, or close friend, cultivating loving relationships requires communication, trust, and mutual respect.

Take the time to express your feelings and needs, and be open to listening to your loved ones as well.

Remember, fostering positive relationships takes time and effort, but it can have a significant impact on your overall well-being.

By surrounding yourself with positive people, meeting new people, nurturing good relationships, and cultivating loving relationships, you can create a supportive network that helps you thrive.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Why is self-care important when recovering from a toxic relationship?

Self-care is crucial because it helps rebuild your emotional and mental well-being. Toxic relationships can leave emotional scars, and self-care helps you heal, regain confidence, and develop healthier future relationships.

2. What are some simple self-care practices I can start with?

Start with the basics, like getting enough sleep, eating well, staying hydrated, and exercising regularly. These foundational self-care practices can have a profound impact on your overall well-being and health.

3. How can I manage the overwhelming emotions that come with toxic relationship recovery?

Journaling, deep breathing exercises, and mindfulness meditation can help you manage overwhelming emotions. They allow you to process your feelings and gain better control over your emotional responses.

4. Is it okay to seek professional help during toxic relationship recovery?

Absolutely. Seeking therapy or counseling is a healthy and proactive step towards recovery. A trained therapist can provide guidance, support, and coping strategies tailored to your specific situation.

5. Can self-care practices help me rebuild my self-esteem after a toxic relationship?

Yes, self-care is instrumental in rebuilding self-esteem. Engaging in activities that make you feel good about yourself, setting and achieving small goals, and practicing self-compassion can all boost your self-esteem.

6. How do I establish healthy boundaries to prevent future toxic relationships?

Setting boundaries is essential. Communicate your needs clearly, learn to say “no” when necessary, and trust your instincts. Self-care plays a role here too, as it helps you prioritize your well-being and recognize when a relationship becomes unhealthy.

Join our Facebook group

Recovering from a toxic relationship is a process of rebuilding yourself. Self-care is essential in this rebuilding process, as it shows you that you are important.

Self-care is not selfish because, without taking care of yourself first, you will not be able to effectively take care of others.

Self-care is a part of personal growth and a good time investment for your overall well-being.

By taking care of yourself, you can become the best version of yourself and live a more fulfilling life.

Self-care looks different for everyone, and it’s important to find what works best for you. Whether it’s practicing mindfulness, taking a relaxing bath, or spending time in nature, make sure to prioritize self-care in your life.

Start the journey of recovery from your toxic relationship. Start taking care of yourself, even if you start with small baby steps. As you feel stronger and learn new habits, self-care activities will become easier.

There is no right or wrong way to practice self-care and recover from a toxic relationship. The ideas that I have outlined are just a start to assist you in your journey of reclaiming your power.

Should you need further assistance, please leave a comment below or send me an email.