We’ve all been there. You’re in a new relationship and it feels like the world has finally fallen into place. You both have an unspoken connection, spending time together feels effortless, and you can’t get enough of each other. Everything is perfect…until it isn’t.
Conflict arises, trust is broken, and your partner does something that cuts you to the core. They break your trust or endanger your safety in some way — maybe they even show signs of being controlling or emotionally manipulative. How do you move forward after the relationship ends?
In the work environment, your new job may initially seem perfect until you realize that the environment is too stressful and toxic and you need to find a new job.
Self-care is a crucial element of any recovery process. Toxic relationships leave us broken and confused and sometimes we don’t realize this until it’s too late. The recovery process requires you to be gentle on yourself, you will need to learn self-care which will allow the rebuilding process.
What is Self-Care?
Self-care is all about looking after your emotional, spiritual and physical wellbeing.
Self-care isn’t just about brushing your teeth or combing your hair. Self-care focuses on the needs within you. Self-care is caring for your soul, your inner self, and your very being.
You might think it’s selfish to care for yourself, but self-care is actually crucial to your survival. If you neglect your needs, you’re likely to burn out, become sick, and suffer from mental health issues like stress, anxiety, and depression.
When you practice self-care, you’ll find that you have more energy, and you’re more productive.
Self-care isn’t about ignoring your problems — it’s about finding ways to solve them without getting stuck in a loop of destructive thought patterns. It’s not just about taking baths and sleeping in on the weekends either. It’s about creating a healthy lifestyle that works for you.
Why Is Self-Care So Important?
Unfortunately, breakups happen in every relationship — whether it lasts two months or 20 years. And if your breakup has left you feeling confused, upset, or even traumatized, self-care is even more important than it would normally be.
When you’re healing from a breakup especially from a toxic relationship, it’s easy to get stuck in a negative spiral of thoughts. You might be plagued by the question: “What did I do wrong?” or “Why did they leave me?” You can try to solve these problems, but you’ll never find a concrete solution or closure from a toxic relationship and its more productive if you start putting yourself first.
In your fragile state, self-care will assist and support you in the process of rebuilding yourself, and your life.
Self-care allows you to start solving your problems and being able to move forward with your new life, even if you don’t have all the answers.
Self-care will help you to focus on being positive even when everything around you seems dark and difficult.
How To Practice Self-Care When You’re Hurting
When you’re in the thick of a breakup from a toxic relationship, it’s easy to forget to take care of yourself. You’re likely to be so focused on the relationship ending, or the person who hurt you, that you forget to look after your own needs.
When you are hurting and recovering from the toxic relationship it can be challenging to do things like eat properly, sleep well, and deal with your emotions in a healthy way. When you neglect your needs, you’re more likely to get sick or engage in self-destructive behaviors.
That’s why it’s crucial to make self-care a priority. If you’re in the middle of a breakup and notice you’re not taking care of yourself, stop what you’re doing and take a step back. Ask yourself if you’re neglecting yourself and what you can do to change that.
Self-care can help by providing you with a healthy outlet for your emotions and a reminder to look after your needs.
Start taking small steps to care for yourself. The first step is always to be aware of how you’re feeling and why.
Next, make a plan for how you’re going to take care of yourself. There are many ways to practice self-care, so find what works best for you.
Build a Solid Self-Care Plan
A good self-care plan reminds you of what you want to accomplish. After all, you have values, goals, and a purpose in your life. This plan reminds you about what you need to do to take care of you.
Using a day planner or making notes to yourself can remind you of your goals and the things you need to do to take care of your body, mind, and soul.
• Your self-care plan gives you a solid foundation for what you want to do and how you can accomplish it.
Tips For Building Self-Care Into Your Recovery Plan
Whatever you do to care for yourself, make sure it helps you relax and de-stress.
Meditation, journaling, listening to music, and spending time in nature are all great ways to de-stress. This will lead into you rediscover yourself, something that is most needed after a toxic relationship.
You can also try to find healthy outlets for your emotions, like going to therapy, exercising, or spending time with loved ones who support you to embrace who you are.
Make sure you’re eating well, getting enough sleep, and taking care of your physical health. Your mental health is closely linked to your physical health. If you notice you’re getting stuck with negative thought processes, try to refocus your attention on taking care of yourself.
Providing yourself with inspirational quotes and affirmations is spiritual food that keeps you focused on your own personal well being. These provide you with reminders of what to do, as well as little pieces of inspiration to remind you of why you’re doing it!
Affirmations have the power to change your thoughts, self-talk, and ultimately, your actions. They can strengthen your talents and help you develop traits that you wish to learn. They can enable you to overpower negative thoughts with positive ones.
Hang motivating pictures throughout your home and office. These pictures may be of exotic places you’d like to visit someday, or tranquil images of nature. You can also have a photo of your family to remind you of what’s important to you.
• Your self-care plan should inspire you and remind you of why you want to take care of your body mind and spirit
Another aspect of your self-care plan is tracking your progress. Let’s say you have a hard time getting motivated to exercise. By keeping a log of your exercise time, you can keep yourself focused on achieving a healthier you.
A food journal is also a good way to track your food choices so you can remind yourself that you need to eat nutritious foods. In addition, you can use a journal to record your mental and emotional health.
Journal what’s going on inside of you so you can evaluate your feelings and proactively take care of your mental health.
• Your self-care plan tracks your progress and helps you stay on track towards your goals.
You can use these aspects of planning toward anything in your life so you have that solid foundation you need to take care of yourself. Just make sure to take care of the inside as well as the outside.
Getting Down to Creating a Personalized Self-Care Plan
You may need to motivate yourself to initiate your self-care plan. For some, beginning any new task may be daunting. In addition, you’ll want to be sure you can find motivation along the way to help keep you on track.
A good motivator to keep you on track is to have a family member, friend, or spouse hold you accountable. If you slip up in your efforts to proactively take care of yourself, they will let you know so you can renew your focus and get back on track.
It’s important to have some sort of structure in place for successful self-care. You need to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else. A good self-care plan will provide you with the vigor, attitude, and energy to enjoy life to its fullest!
Recovering from a toxic relationship is a process of rebuilding yourself. Self-care is essential in this rebuilding process as it highlights to you that you are important. Self-care is not selfish because without taking care of yourself first you will not be able to effectively take care of others.
Start the journey of recovery from your toxic relationship. Start taking care of yourself even if you start with small baby steps. As you feel stronger and learn new habits self-care will become easier.
There is no right or wrong way to practice self-care and recover from your toxic relationship. The ideas that I have outlined are just a start to assist you in your journey of reclaiming your power.
Should you need further assistance, please leave a comment below or send me an email.